Red Pill V Blue Pill

I had the choice. They found me. My qualities attracted them. My philosophy in life. I have no fear and I was searching deep within my soul for an answer. An answer to all this madness. We all search, but what set me apart from others is that I was willing to give my life for the answer. Also, my search was not for cool ranch Doritos, or what movie to watch that evening, like the shallow searches my Nemesis and Master often embark upon.  And then they found me, and I had to choose.

So I, like Neo, and others before him, was put in the red chair. Told to choose, blue or red. I take the blue pill, and I wake up as I normally do. I am a morning person, I love to eat breakfast, lounge around, read the morning NY Stock Exchange, and then gradually work myself outside for a morning trot and dumping of excrement onto my fellow Chicagoans lawn. I knew if I took the blue pill, I would probably forget that I had encountered the opportunity to go "deep into the rabbit hole to find the real truth." I would go to work, come home, and think deeply about what else is out there. And why am I here? What is the point of this madness? Day in and day out, I have a feeling I am in a prison. I cannot leave when I want, (without sneaking out with the help of Pedro) I am constantly starving for money, food, and women, I have an insatiable affinity for life, I want to taste it all, I want to smell it all. And I want to know why

So it sounds like I am going to take the red pill, but if I had I would not be writing this to you now would I? I would be off in a hover craft somewhere, learning ju jitsu and kung fu and sharpening my ability to abandon my human in a dog suit shackles in the matrix. I would be able to "bend the spoon" so to speak. I would abandon all fear, and realize the capabilities that I have bend time and space allowing me to fly to heights no chihuahua has ever flown to.

The truth is, my weakness in the end, is and was ladies. Sorry Morpheus, I shall never be able to live without a wide variety of women in my life. I could care less if they are real or not, they feel real to me, they smell good, and that is all that matters.

Call me shallow if you will for not choosing path to truth. I will find my own truth, in my own time. In the meantime I will celebrate life one lady in a red dress at a time.

Absolute Time

I have been reading up on Einstein's General Theory of Relativity. I just cannot wrap my mind around the fact that most humans have not figured out, or accepted that absolute time does not exist. I am not sure of other breeds, but I know that Chihuahua's possess the ability to experience time in its many different forms and avenues.

I am also lower to the ground, so time moves much slower for me due to gravitational forces. I have calculated that an average peanut butter chewy takes me about four hours to eat, whereas it would only take a human about four minutes to eat. Now, I know there are other mitigating factors to pay attention to (like why My Nemesis continues to steal my chewies), but let's focus on time, and time only, that's what you humans are best at anyway right?

I always wondered why humans cannot understand why when they arrive I am astonished at how long they have been gone. It really has been 4 excruciating months. Think Dog Years people.

Actually, just think of time as anything but an absolute. As long as I have lived I have afforded myself this luxury and I rarely feel stressed, and I often think of what possibilities might exist out there deep beyond in galaxies that you humans are too wrapped up in time to imagine. As the universe has continues to expand, I go along with it, and am a much happier puppy because of it.