Why I quit Facebook, I do not want my firstborn to be a PC/Chihuahua mix.

To all you non-disguised humans, I did it. The cajones in me, the fear deleting my account would somehow compromise my identity was the final straw. I do not want to be on my death bed compulsively checking my friend's relationship status when I come to out of a morphine cloud.

It scares me to the point of pissing my fur pants.

Many of you were not my friends on facebook, many were. Like any other dipshit excited to meet up with my relatives back home in Chihuahua, or mi amigas all over the world, with an annoying amount of enthusiasm, leaped onto the bandwagon, bounded, all four paws.

Thinking, This is better than MYZpace. More "cool." At least more entertaining than that joke of a website the cat's made with their misspellings and what no

The diluted communication with others that are far away drew me in. I could go visit my friends in Japan on a whim. But wait, I only sang karaoke with once. Wouldn't it be awkward if I just randomly FB'd them up to come visit? We haven't spoke one word since my visit, but from facebook I hear that they currently are loathing their new emo haircut and they never got over Sheri leaving the Runaways. I am not a big fan of Joan Jett, and I make fun of emo haircuts, it would be difficult to hold composure with these people, even with mass amounts of Sake.

Short seconds turned into excruciating hours, I started to use FB less. I got violently ill upon hearing of people having a bad day, projectile vomit covering walls in reaction to truth I did not want to know, my brain started to bleed at there mere sight of a status update.

I do not care whether or not you drank so much that you slept with a vagrant of the same breed, or are bawling because you realized that Dave Matthews Band really does suck. Especially if our interactions have consisted of a small conversation in a pub one night after 46 shots of Tequilla.

Facebook makes a mockery out of true friendships, and realistic relationships. To think that you can be friends with over 1,000 people is ridiculous. Real relationships take work that most of us don't want to make, and effort that most of us loathe others for.

Many of us know people, but to say every one we know is a friend is a lie. We do not care about the people we know like we care about the people we love. Facebook proves how lazy we are, we don't want the real work of a relationship when we can just click and get the instant gratification.

I understand that I don't have facebook anymore and I will still use electronic devices to communicate, but I don't have to hear about someone's bad haircut every time I pick up the phone. I do not have to feel guilty that although FB proclaims that I have over 3,000 friends, I only talk to three of them, or actually care to hear what two of them have to say.

My search for meaning comes from a different place. I want to talk, I want to write, and I want to listen. In the time before facebook, I remember a weird thing I used to do which was think, it REALLY was weird, I would think, then if a thought was relevant, or consumed me for a long period of time, I would share that thought with another human being. But if it wasn't, I would forget about it, and nobody would ever know...

I wouldn't call someone to tell them I just clipped my toenails and I accidentally snipped the quick. Get a grip folks, start to smile at people if you believe it is possible to have 3,000 friends. I mean I guess, the internet can be your best friend, but how will you procreate with it? No seriously, if you can explain this to me, I will join facebook again, and OK CUPID, and I will marry my PC. You non disguised humans really do annoy me sometimes.